This is gonna be some asshole ramblings of mine. Once you read it, don’t regret. If you’re not up to this, don’t read it. Simple as ABC.
I’m not as proactive as before. I mean, not exactly I mean it. It’s just I feel like one. I remember the old myself, back in SDAR, or back in AAJ, I felt very confident in whatever I did. I examined, I drew the best plans I had, and finally had them executed. I even had reliable back up plans sometimes. In easier words, I got things under control.
I know it’s useless if I always look back at what I’d achieved in past few years, unless I take them as my booster to move forward. At times I get jealous when I see my friends are so fired up when they do their work.
I’ve been messing up with myself lately. My body clock was screwed up, Nights become day, so as vice versa. My Ramadan fasting ain’t good enough to compare with others. My eyes turns more blurred. They don’t get enough rest. They feel like been betrayed by their owner.
“Get started by starting”, it’s a saying that I once read somewhere.
And why in the hell I’ve turned to be so unproductive so suddenly. My execution rate’s been slumping. Eventually, I ended up nothing, or half-finished. 中途ハンパ or hangat-hangat tahi ayam. Well, of course I regret it . because I think I could have done better.
This time about MSAJ thing. If Ben, or Boon, or anyone in the committee read this, I wanna say thanks a lot for everything. When I was appointed as one of the AJKs, I was not motivated, because I actually didn’t feel like want to be one. But, I tried to get my act together for it, grasping some pieces of guts and motivations, and I was certain that I could do well.
Still, things got complicated, I felt like I wasn’t one of them. My motivation decreases in time. So as now, though. But I do feel I am the bad person here. I must do my works. They’re my responsibility. I need to start my engine, shifting up and never turn back.
Here I make a list of what I wanna do during summer break. Yeah, as hell as it could be, not even half of them I managed to accomplish.
- Working inside my computer.
- Playing Football Manager 2009.
- Doing some programming.
- Studying JLPT.
Huh, I guess that should be enough ramblings from me.
Before I end the call, I have some goodies for myself. Roll~~
Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.
ps: I wanna thank her for always accompanying me, and for always cheering me up. You’re always be the reason for my happiness and my motivation. You’re the best girlfriend ever. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, baby:)
pss: and good luck with your mid-sem. I always pray for you.